It’s worse than a poppy seed muffin. It’s more dangerous than garlic. IT’S THE MEATBALL SUB!
I used to wear a red shirt every second day of the week. It was my stain saving technique back when Subway ran the “Sub of the Day” special featuring meatball marinara on Tuesdays.
It’s a beautiful sandwich – four plump meatballs lined up and blanketed with a warm, soothing sauce – completely worth matching an outfit to.
But after yesterday, I might retire my red shirts for good.
A former co-worker stopped by the office to catch up. It was the lunch hour and what goes better with good company than good food? And since he was an extra special friend, it had to be the meatball sub.
He had already eaten, putting me in the lunchlight… and the performance of “me and the meatball marinara” was rotten tomatoes.
There he was, an aspiring lawyer heading to Harvard Law School in three weeks, telling me about an ultra-elite party he had gone to in Manhattan, going on and on about how classy the women he had met there were. He termed them “Jackies.”
There I was, a meatball maniac holding a soggy sub roll sabotaged by sauce. Each bite into one side popped a meatball out of the other side. Fortunately, I had the wrapper on my lap so it caught the fallouts. Unfortunately, my friend didn’t know this so it looked like I just picked the meatballs off my pants (and, umm, yeah, put them in my mouth). The Jackie I resembled was Gleason…
From this day forth, meatball subs are only safe on Saturdays and Sundays. But there’s more out there – tasty threats to our professionalism await us every lunch hour, five days a week. Got any on your plate?
Ok so I’ve got something worse. I was walking around the Baltimore Waterfront Festival last summer with a boy that I just started dating. It was hot and we were hungry. We stopped at one of those carts that sell Gyros. So he bought himself one and got me one. Gyros are a tricky sort of food. I’m never sure if I should dig into it with a fork or try to just bite into it (like one would do with any other kind of “wrapped” food”) I follow by my date’s example and proceed to try and fit the wide mouthed wrap into my not so wide mouthed face. Clearly it was a disaster. As I have previously mentioned it was a hot day so of course my gyro sauce was not in the most solid form it could be in. I felt a drip running down my chin and then noticed the small trail of sauce running from my tightly grasped fingertips down to my elbow. The pita was starting to get soggy but I was too busy trying to hide the sauce all over my face to do anything about it. Suddenly the entire bottom dropped out of my gyro onto my lap. I however did not have a strategically placed plastic bag on my lap. I smelled like the floor of a Greek restaurant for the rest of the day.
At least you knew your lunch partner. Nothing is worse than going through a lunch meeting after eating a spinach salad and realizing a hour later that you looked like some sort of toothless salesman in front of the CEO of a major corporation.
I am notorious for spilling food on me. I have been told that I cannot be taken anywhere nice because I always end up with a stain on my shirt. I have tried to stay away from white shirts while eating. Subway Subway Subway…..I have had my fill for a while! I have tried to switch it up everyday, I even got the tuna even though I hate tuna!!!! Subway started offering chicken salad and that worked well about a week, now it tastes just like the ham which tastes just like the spicy Italian which tastes just like the turkey breast which taste just like the roast beef….
I just finished eating Subway for lunch. I had a wrap, lemonade and some chips. The way you just described the meatball sub (which I too love) made me hungry again. And for the record they are not the only embaressing food to eat. Ever had a pasta dish and tried to wrap the noodles up but when you go for the bite it slips and you are stuck slurping and then proceeding with a bite to let the strays fall to the plate because you took too much and now you look like you’ve never eaten before?!@?!?! Whew…
9aThank’s for greate post.8u I compleatly disagree with last post . sve
I’ll happy if you come here ?????????????? ?????? 8j